#5. The Great Escape

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🎵 - Verse 1

We were tired from our travels

We'd been roamin’ so long

Like a worn-out recording

Of a favorite song

So dodging fires in Laos

And a war in Iran

We took a personal pit stop

A bougie change to the plan

🎶 - CHORUS

D’you dream of living in Bali?

Getting caught in the game

If you're into yoga

and your life’s kinda lame

If you like protein shakes and pastries

Around cool Euro’s who vape

Then it’s the land that you’ve dreamed of

Book your flight and escape

You see, ladies and gentlemen, your favorite adventure couple was jonesing for some repose--especially after a month in everyone’s favorite surveillance state.

But oh the twists and turns!

Hannah missed her (much needed 😉) 10 day silent meditation retreat in India because of the war, and Jordan’s long-awaited off-grid in Laos got canned because of seasonal burns (no, not the fun orgy-in-the-desert kind).

So what were our heroes to do?

Where would they escape?

Where else.. but everyone’s favorite price-accessible island paradise..

Oh yeah. Beautiful nature, beautiful food, beautiful people. All for a labor-arbitraged bargain. We love capitalism *ahem I mean economic development, don’t we?

And it wasn’t all pampering. We did some cute stuff too——dropped in on John and Deb for a surprise visit. They are on their own SouthEast Asia trip and didn’t think they’d be seeing us for 8 months.

A nice little weekend that featured (unsuccessful) dolphin chasing, cute little animals, and way too many Hamiltons on the back of a scooter.

But we parted ways with the parental units, and this dynamic duo took our repose in a lovely little neighborhood called Pererenan, just west of Canggu. Quieter than its bustly neighbor, it had everything we could dream of for our month of relaxation—dreamy food, lovely cafes, and even a BEAUTIFUL little gym and health club to get us on the up and up after months of eating street meat with little exercise.

A perfect escape.

But we quickly realized we weren’t the only ones escaping...

🎵 - 2

I didn’t think about my homeland

I know that sounds kind of mean

But me and my old lady

Had to ditch that pricey dull routine

So we moved to Bali heaven

And thought——”this ain’t that bad”

And though the insta-girls show it

It’s just a lifestyle fad

🎶 - CHORUS

Yes I like living in Bali!

Getting caught in the game

Yes I’m so into yoga

Despite the spiritual shame

Yes I like protein shakes and pastries

And cool Euro’s who vape

Yes it’s the land that I’ve dreamed of

I’ll join the crowds that escaped

You see the more time we spent in this little luxury bubble, the more we realized that we weren’t the only ones there to escape. The faux-glitz restaurants and overpriced gyms were teeming with first world refugees and their stories:

• A Belgian equity trader escaping an imploded relationship

• An Italian property developer who escaped COVID lockdowns and decided not to leave

• A New York broadway actor-turned web designer who yearned to flee his cockroach-infested Bushwick apartment

• An LA artist couple who said “fuck it” to the CA cost of living, and now spend their days playing with their kids, partying (always followed by an NAD+ IV the next day), and drinking coconuts

• A Ukrainian photographer who escaped the war by becoming an influencer

• A Californian pastry chef who fled the cut throat lifestyle of service in US fine dining to run his own restaurant on the island. Guess where he came from? San Francisco’s own Tartine Bakery

• A Polish interior designer who just really, REALLY hates the cold.

Escaping war. Escaping disease. Escaping economic reality. Escaping labor. Escaping lifestyle.

And I get the appeal. Fitness clubs and restaurants straight from Architectural Digest, exotic health classes and sound healing, Michelin-level dining for less than a Chipotle bowl, branded coconuts for a dollar. They even had low-sugar, organic, pasture raised, high-protein Greek yoghurt FROYO! (that may have been the most delicious food ever made).

But the culture itself almost feels like an echo of that escape. Yes there’s the tourist escapism. But I’m not even talking about that.

The obsession with health and fitness is something we’ve never seen before. We’re talking collagen powder and creatine add ons to your morning coffee, cryo chambers at the gym, cutting edge laser skin treatments, supplement stores on every corner, and even 22 year olds at the club shilling experimental growth hormone peptides that you can buy with crypto.

“Escape your body. Escape your age.”

Then there’s the spiritual side. Throngs of soul-searchers partying it up at jungle festivals, bi-weekly ecstatic dance parties, or daily yoga and mindfulness communities.

“Escape your body. Escape your mind.”

And for the first few weeks, I’d say it almost had us. We were drawn in by the food, the aesthetics, the everything. It all just seems so easy, so perfect. We would almost ask ourselves——”why NOT Bali?”

But in this last week here, we received a sign: food sickness. And while Hannah’s insides were reminding her that this was not her home, we——together——were reflecting so much on the friends and the family back home that fill our lives with such adventure and joy.

And whenever we may feel that tingle for adventure, we can always turn to the other and find an escape in Hannah and Jordan’s own goofy little world, where there’s palm trees and coconuts no matter where we are.

🎵 - 3 - ORIGINAL

So I waited with high hopes

And she walked in the place

I knew her smile in an instant

I knew the curves of her face

It was my own lovely lady

And she said, “Oh, it’s you”

And we laughed for a moment

And I said, “I never knew”

🎶 - CHORUS

That you liked Piña Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

And the feel of the ocean

And the taste of champagne

If you like making love at midnight

In the dunes on the cape

You’re the lady I’ve looked for

Come with me and escape”